10 year high school reunion - Class of '01

It’s that time… I officially feel old.  This past May was the 10 year anniversary of my high school graduation.  I keep seeing friends on status updates on Facebook about going to their high school reunions and reminiscing of old memories that shaped their youth and launched them into adulthood – for better or worse.  

We were class Presidents

So as it turns out, I was home schooled, which basically means when it comes to a 10 year reunion I don’t really get one.  Of course there are all the jokes like, well you can just go home… blah blah blah.   I did actually go to co-ops as a homeschooled high schooler and did school and life with other teenagers but we weren’t necessarily in the same “graduating class”.  That was a little more ambiguous.  I did have a graduation, robe, cap, tassel and all.


I have a high school transcript from Lighthouse Academy, signed by the Principle, my Dad. :) 

So a random group of homeschooled grads get together every year and make our own little graduating class.  Our class did senior pictures as a "class" and all.  Class of '01!

Couldn't find the actual shot...this is behind the scenes.

So how many of these folks have I kept up with?… well 3...kinda.  But percentage wise, that’s not to bad right… I mean how many people have you really kept up with from high school.

Truth is most people remember high school most of all based on the school they went to.  I remember based on my church and the youth group that I loved.  My closest friends were in my church youth group.  The people who helped shape my character (when listening to my parents was so totally not what I wanted to do), listened to my teenage struggles, challenged me and were awesome friends and mentors.

Some of the most amazing women whom I love!

Some of my youth group - this is the seniors I graduated with.

Things I loved about my youth group:

• I got to help lead music - and we had some super talented musician which was really fun.
• Served dinner at Union Gospel Mission once a month to the homeless - life changing
• We went to Israel!
• I was introduced to David Wilcox by my youth pastor.  LOL
• Pancake breakfast at stinkin' early in the morning - sacrifices a youth pastor makes are CRAZY!
• Some of the people I graduated with I had known since I was a baby and still know today.
• Summer Camp - although we combined with another church youth group we went every summer to Jan Kay Ranch and I even went back as a Jr. Counselor and Co Counselor.

Part of graduating is saying goodbye as you get ready to head off to college.  Part of that send off for me also took place at work as I had worked for Scrappy Scrapbooks since I was 16.  I made a pretty good friends while I worked their who was also graduating and so the owners and employees through us a wonderful party.

Me and my coworker!

When I think all the way back to my senior year and reminisce on the old times, I can't help but be so thankful for all the people who God put in my life; my parents who sacrificed to homeschool me and my siblings, my youth pastor, mentors, and youth group as a whole, my employer and coworkers.

I hope I haven't bored you but I was feeling a little nostalgic and I guess this will kind of be my 10 year reunion.

Things I listen to on my commute... (it's an hour each way)

I’ve been listening to a parenting series that my church has made available.  

(The series link for those interested) 

We are members of The Village Church in Flower Mound (Flo Mo… for those who are super cool) and I continually find myself blessed by this church in areas I’m not even searching for advice or wisdom or guidance.  What I mean is, specifically, this parenting class was simply posted online for download by anyone.  I’m not a parent and I am NOT expecting to be anytime soon (got that - this is NOT an announcement) but I figured the best time to learn is when you aren’t desperate.  So I embarked on listening to this series without any expectations really.  I do already have a lot of opinions about raising kids as I have worked in church nurseries and baby sat and observed various techniques for raising kids.

I have always been intimidated at the task of raising children and the reality that you can’t control their hearts or choices or outcome that you can only shepherd and lead.  I have known and watched many Godly parents of rebellious children and on the flip side seen so many children who grow up to love the Lord when they never had parents guide them in that direction.  I have no point in this – only that it is scary to me and trusting the Lord in raising children has to be the ultimate test of faith.

The thing that I have most respected about this series is they aren’t giving you set parameters that must be met in order to be a good parent and to raise good children.  They have focused on mostly one concept as the core focus for parenting and that is “parent for the future”. Or as their slogan goes, “Begin with the End in Mind”.  I love that they “intentionally” parent as a couple.  They talk about sitting down as parents and setting goals for how you want your child to be as a member of the family and as an adult.

It’s safe to say I desire my child to be successful at managing a budget, a decision maker, someone who can adapt, someone who takes on responsibility knowing their decisions affect others.  So if I have those as long term goals how do I parent now?  Do I buy everything my child wants when they want it, just to make a trip at the store easier?  No.  I could, for example, give them an allowance, for them to save and to spend on the things they really want while I provide the things they really need. 

The thing I have heard the loudest and clearest from the whole series so far is that I need to set expectations, make them known, and follow up appropriately based on if they are met or not. (I can't expect my child to obey as I want them to if I haven't set an expectation for what that looks like)

A really interesting part that was talked about was age appropriate chores or tasks.  I was really surprised at the list in some age groups and especially that it began at 9 months.  I do realize this is based on the ability of each child… but that is also the beauty of it.  

Here is the reference tasks: Family ROI link ... pretty cool I thought

Two other points that I have taken away as very important are:

1. Eye contact and verbal response:  Creating a “roll play” where the appropriate response is known at an early age sets the expectations for how you are to respond when Mom or Dad is giving an expectation.  

So it went something like this:

Mom: “Susie, look at Mom.” – get on eye level when really little.

Susie: Looks

Mom: “Susie, I want you to ….”  “Ok Susie?”

Susie: “Ok, Mom”

So now Susie has agreed to obey and if she doesn’t do what she said she would do then there are consequences.  This is putting the obedience and burden on the child to obey, not the parents to keep them in line.  Also, it sets the stage for a teenager or adult to submit their will to God because as young children they have submitted their will to their parents.  But it was of their doing not your forcing. 

2. The Yes Mom or No Mom, Yes Dad or No Dad.  I already know that I will be a No Mom and Phil will be a Yes Dad, that’s a given.  I lean toward judgment and Phil leans toward compassion.  In a lot of ways I think that is why we make a good team.  In this though I know that I need to watch my amount of harshness and extend grace even when my response initially is not to.  I think I’m going to need to find a good female mentor for this when the time comes for us to have kids.

I guess the best part of the series is just recognizing (being reminded) that children are God’s – always God’s.  When you are blessed with children you are blessed with God’s child and you are given the responsibility to raise them and teach them of God not so they mind you but so they become adults who submit their will to God. You as the parent are just a vessel not the owner of these children, too often we lean toward entitlement.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.  Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

One last thought.  Several times the speakers of this parenting class reminded the listeners that they are giving tips for a way to parent.  Tips, techniques.  These are not The Way.  Only God is The Way and if it is not commanded in the Bible then it is not The Way, it is just a way which I think is a great reminder to all of us especially parents and Moms.  I too often hear “opinions” of a mom on the way to do something; (i.e. naptime, diapers, food, or spanking) and they speak as though if you do it any other way YOU ARE CRAZY.  Well just because it works for one family DOESN’T mean it will work for all and it doesn’t mean if you do it another way your children will be ruined.

He has shown thee, oh man what is good; and what the Lord requires of thee.  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God. Micah 6:8  

Our Beagles

I seem to be on a roll of serious post, light-hearted post, serious post, light-hearted post so this seems like ample time to do a light-hearted post and tell you all about my doggies.  I have noticed that people who don’t own dogs think there is no reason to consider them so important in your life.  Now I am not as naive to say that I will always care for them as I do now but these dogs have taught me so much about training, discipline, selfless love and care and I know it is only a tiny ray of foreshadowing to what it will be like to be a parent. (can you say ray and foreshadowing in the same sentence?  .... seems contradictory.... oh well I said it)

Buster and Arden are our Beagle babies.  

About Buster:

We bought our first house in June of 2008 and we fixed it up and moved in July 4th weekend.  By the time September rolled around we thought it was time to get our first dog.  (Phil’s first dog EVER) So we researched which kind of dog would be a good fit for us and our personalities.  We also considered our budget when choosing a breed as many breeds can be over the top expensive.  We found ourselves in every animal store and shelter looking for our new family member but we just weren’t satisfied, so we took to craiglist.com and searched beagle puppies and then there he was our little puppy staring us in the face with a bright yellow scrunchy in his mouth.  We were smitten.  So we called and begged the family to let us come meet him and possibly take him to his forever home.  We brought him home immediately and just fell in love with our new best friend.

Characteristics of Beagles:

Beagles are very VERY loving.

Beagles LOVE food! Human and dog and they gobble everything.
(except Buster I’ll talk about that later)

Beagles always follow their noses...
              so if you want a dog that you can take off the leash and will stay next to you...        
                                                              don’t get a beagle.
 
          Beagles can be barkers and howlers... get one from a good breeder to prevent this.                                                 
                    (Arden and Buster rarely howl and don’t bark too much)
 
                                         Beagles are submissive to other dogs.
 
                                                         Beagle are STUBBORN and VERY smart!
 
                                Beagles wouldn’t hurt a soul and will put up with a lot of annoyances.

We quickly learned that Buster was much much smarter than we originally assumed.

One story, as an example of this, is when he was just a puppy probably only a year old I was playing fetch with him in the backyard.  I threw the ball but he wasn’t looking and when he came over to me to see why I wasn’t playing anymore I asked him to go get his ball.  So he took off nose-to-the-ground sniffing -- just like a beagle, he came back so proud of himself with a ball... but it wasn’t the ball I had thrown.  I laughed and praised him for finding a ball but then told him it was the wrong ball and to find the other ball.  To my shock he took off nose-to-the ground sniffing and came back, within seconds, with the other ball!!! I was amazed.

Jumping ahead a bit in Summer 2009 we took in a neighborhood dog that had been left behind by some tenants that couldn’t afford him anymore.  They left him tied up in the backyard with just a request to a neighbor to feed and water him once a day.  He was the sweetest basset hound you have ever met and his name was Buster.  haha.  So we took him in as a rescue and gave him some love.  This was our Buster’s (now called Little Buster) first time with another dog in his “territory”  it was a bit of an adjustment but they grew to like each other.  So we got “Big Buster” cleaned up loved and healthy and decided it was time to find him a new forever home.  We posted him on craigslist and got a bunch of emails from crazy people but then we got an email from a great couple that lives on a ranch and wanted a dog to scare away coons, not chase the chickens, and be a great loving- obedient dog.  I knew he was loving and obedient and it was a prefect fit.

About Arden:

After Big Buster was gone we realized that our Buster was lonely and needed a friend and more attention than we had energy for.  So we started looking on craiglist again.  We new we wanted another Beagle and NOT a puppy.  Then we found Arden!  He was the same age and male so we thought we would check him out.  We decided he was a fit and brought him home.  BOY did we have our work cut out for us.  He needed to learn to sit, he had anxiety issues, he pooped at random (that was weird - I think it was a nervous thing being in a new place), he barked and growled at men with dark hair or features.  He was kind of a mess.  Came from a sweet home but he needed to learn our way of life.  So training began.  Arden is truly the sweetest most loving dog ever.  He always wants to be snuggled up and wants to please.  But we are pretty sure he isn’t full beagle.  I believe he is have beagle and half Jack-Russle terrier.  This is proved by his courser fur, smaller build, ability to jump super high, smaller legs and paws, desire to cuddle, and HYPER activity!  But we still love him.

Brotherly Love.

They say dogs look like their owners....
I don't know what they are talking about.

Funny differences in Buster and Arden:

Buster likes to “savor” his treats - Arden gobbles his treats.

Buster likes soft food (must add water) - Arden chops down and any food.

Buster likes his space, his own chair - Arden likes to sit on top of you.

Arden likes to walk around on his hind legs - Buster can’t stand on his hind legs for anything

After he was "fixed".

What I have learned from being a beagle doggie mommie:

Consistency in training is the key.

Using the same tone of voice in training is important

Eye contact is important when training

Routine is the difference between a smooth day and a chaotic day.

I’m the disciplinarian, Phil is the push over. :)

Anxiety

Adding pic cause people like pics.
This is me and my brother.

I have been thinking a lot about anxiety and I have been reading books, listening to conferences and talks and biblical teaching on worry and anxiety.  Now I come by anxiety naturally (being a first born and believing my whole life that I have to be perfect – just ask my Mom she will tell you my WHOLE LIFE), it’s my struggle and sin that I don’t even have to consciously choose… it is so ingrained in me that it is my basic response to anything.  I know, in my heart, it is sin but I can so easy rationalize it as if it is just the only way to be.  It consumes me.  So what do I worry or become anxious about… this I have been seeking to know.  I was listening to a conference talk this morning and the speaker asks a very poignant question.  She said, “What is your treasure? What are you seeking? This is what you worry about.”  So this is what I am going to reflect on….

Now for about my anxiety:

It always seems crazy to me that when people speak on worry they always talk about financial worry or food worry or clothes… but seriously I’m just going to be blunt – yes I like clothes and I like to look nice and I like to be able to pay my bills and I like to eat good food but I’m a middle class American (and I’m content to be a middle class American - I do realize a lot of people aren’t and want to get a higher and higher status – but I am.)  So I do have nice enough clothes that can make cute enough outfits, I have food, I live within my means and so I can pay my bills… but I still am anxious!  BUT ABOUT WHAT?  It’s not what the speakers seem to focus on.  And then it hits me I am anxious about me.  I’m anxious that my best isn’t good enough.  That I am going to always let others down not “get it right” the FIRST time.  I don’t like learning (because it is often slow and difficult).  I like to know things but I don’t like the process of learning – making mistakes having to make corrections, the time it takes.  I just want the instant gratification of complete and this anxiety comes out a lot at work. 

Here is a pic of an ad I did for work

Oh work.  How exactly did I pick a career that constant critique and editing and change is daily, hourly, … remember that little word CONSTANT?  Hhmmmm.  Well anyway, creative work is always a work in progress, marketing is ever evolving and changing and so I worry.  I am anxious that I won’t measure up.  The funny thing is there isn’t really a measuring stick.  How do you measure an ever evolving process – so I create my own standard which is  PERFECTION!  Super!  I’ve set the bar to impossible.  Another aspect of my worry is my own rights.  The rights that I have set in my head that people should respect ME, that I shouldn’t be so flexible and giving because people will just run over ME, that I should have my boundaries respected because it’s my right!  Is it?  Well I’m still thinking about this one.

Now for a soap box:  Brace yourself.

So here is my other thing about talks on worry and anxiety.  Everyone seems to quote Matthew 6. 

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

They talk about when Jesus talks about feeding the birds and they quote passages that talk about all our needs being taken care of… okay I’m going to take this slow… so let’s process this a little bit. 

Jesus constantly talks being thirsty – 
but he says to drink from the well of life.

                
     Jesus tells us to store our treasure in heaven – 
      because everything here rots away.

                                
                   Jesus feeds the crowd fish and bread – 
                   not because they are hungry but because he wants them to 
                    listen and not worry about their earthly hunger.

          Jesus says – “Is not life more than food, 
                                   and the body more than clothes?”

… so follow me here… 

He then goes on to talk about the basic necessities of life… for birds.  okay… BUT he doesn’t EVER EVER EVER talk about the souls of birds.  So he then says, “are you not much more valuable than they?”  YES we are eternally more important than birds.  And Jesus was provided to us with the eternal salvation and redemption that indeed gives us life….

so here I go… I am open for being wrong… but I can’t get this out of my head so I am hoping that by attempting to put it on paper I can at least have it said.

This is a well in honor of my friend's baby.
They started the ministry Holden Uganda to
build clean water wells in Uganda.

I cannot say that Jesus is promising that I will have food on the table or that I will be clothed. He is saying my eternal soul is redeemed by Jesus and has life and I therefore should not worry because this life is fleeting – like dew on the morning grass.  I’m just saying, would this (the talks I listen to on worry) really be talks given to those living in the the poorest of countries and conditions - those whose children starve to death in front of them because there is no food.  Those who don’t have clean water to drink or a roof over their head or clothes covering their bodies as American’s have deemed appropriate.  Is not the gospel for them as well?  Could I say to them… you do not have in this life because you don’t need it and in the same breath say that I need food on the table, clothes on my back and a roof over my head?  NO!  

I say you don’t have in this life because 
you don’t need it for eternal life. 

Woe to us rich we are so wrong we don’t even know we are wrong!  “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:14

End of soap box.

My anxiety is me… and it is selfish.  My pressure is manmade and it is sin.  My “rights” are not rights promised to me they are sin.

So where does that really leave me in my anxiety?  Well I find the majority of my anxiety is at work.  I stress about getting projects out on time with limited time to work on them.  I stress about my projects being done right the first time (because I really don’t have time to do them twice or three times.)  But what matters?  I would say that what matters is that I do my best.  Do my work unto the Lord and if I do my best and it doesn’t please someone they way they think it should or the way I think it should, I know I have done my best. Now I don’t think this means I ought to work extra hours to accomplish ever task given to me in a day.  I think it means 40 hours of work a week are the parameters I am expected and required to fulfill for my job (“So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” Matthew 22:21) and in that time I will do my best.  I should not put up walls and barriers between me and my co-workers, I should receive them as they are and love them as Christ calls us to love.

Not so easy. Bleh.  That will probably be a-whole-nother post.

The Bird Walk

I found out about the Bird Walk because I follow Lewisville TX on Facebook, which is pretty awesome really because they are always telling me stuff I can do or about the city that I wouldn’t have known otherwise.  So this was a guided Bird Walk at LLELA which is Lewisville Lake Environmental Learning Area.  You can actually go out there any Friday-Sunday for $5 but the guided tour intrigued me.  Yes it started at 7:30am... but it’s the early bird that catches the worm....right!?!

I am happy to report Phil decided to come with me on this adventure!!!! Yay!  Let’s just take a moment and soak it in. ..... 

okay

So with nothing but our camera and tripod we set out.  I saw nothing because we found out that in the “sport” of bird watching that’s pretty measly.  These people showed up with giant tripod scopes, bird books, camo, notepads, walking sticks and of course binoculars.  We were definitely the newbies.  Lucky for us they were glad to share, so we got to see some beautiful birds through super powerful scopes (that no camera I can afford will ever capture the detail from that distance.)  

I quickly picked up from the guide that our mission today was to see a Painted Bunting.  I was very excited about this because I was just “challenged” by my brother to see one in my neck of the woods.  The early morning wasn’t turning out too promising though it was pretty chilly and windy and I guess it turns out the birds feel the same way as I do about chilly wind... HIDE!  So they stayed hidden and we enjoyed the rest of nature and the hike we were on.

Here are just a few pretty nature pictures I took along the way.... I did, after all, have a camera ;)

So after round one our Tour Guide decided our best place of the day for seeing anything would be in the swamp area... sounds ominous but away we went.  Now this was much better.  The birds were much more active and plentiful and the hike was awesome.  I honestly didn’t know Lewisville had any area like this place.  

Here is what we saw:  

White Egret... I knew this was a big pretty white bird but I had no idea it has giant bright yellow feet.  So funny and cool!  

I didn't take this, but see his yellow feet!

I took this one though!

Then we saw what everyone was calling a Dick Thistle... it was a very pretty little bird with a red chest and blue head and back.  Now I tried to google a picture of this for you (btw don’t do that: you get milk thistle weeds and well.... you can guess what else) but I didn’t find a picture which now has me curious if this bird really is as hard to see as everyone was saying because I tell you when they saw this bird their days (maybe months) we made!  Seriously they were super excited so we only thought it appropriate to be equally as excited because after all it was our FIRST bird watching trip and we had seen this oh so illusive Dick Thistle.   

Then we saw a Belted King Fisher.... I really like his mohawk!  Pretty cool bird.  

Again didn't take this but sweet mohawk!

The bird I probably watched and followed the longest was the Prothonotary Warbler.  Beautiful bright yellow guy.  Here is a picture I took of him.  He is in the circle of color on the right and he wanted me to go away so he could fly into his house the structure on the left.  Below the one I took is a good google pic of what he looks like up close.

See the little dot on the right.

Didn't take this one but this is what he looked like.

It was fun to watch him, at one point he had a giant worm hanging out of his mouth as he hopped around the trees.

In the river bed area we saw Sand Pipers which were in a flock and that was fun to watch them duck down into the water for food and then clean themselves up.

Here are a few other pictures I took because I couldn’t get quality bird shots.

Just loved this twisted vine!

No idea what these things are but they looked cool.

Just look at his intricate wings!  So amazing!

In the end I didn’t see a Painted Bunting but several people did see an Indigo Bunting and we heard lots of others.

All in all it was a great adventure and I must admit pretty relaxing!