Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Grieving Expectations

Do you ever get smacked in the face by an expectation you didn't even know you had until it is broken or let you down?  What then?

Today I felt sucker punched as an expectation I wasn't even aware mattered to me was revealed and my emotional response shocked me; honestly, I was bemused by my own response of tears.  Disappointment and frustration are always triggers for my tears but when I didn't even know I had an expectation it is somewhat hard to comprehend the emotional response of tears.

So as I contemplated my heart break I realized that regardless of my disappointment it is healthy and appropriate to grieve the loss of it. Too often I think I should discard my feelings (not respond like a girl) and put aside my disappointment and frustration without processing it.  I guess that's "bottling" which I kind of a pro at but this time I want to reflect, I want to grieve, and I want to give that broken expectation to the Lord.... not blaming anyone, not feeling sorry for myself, and not feeling silly for grieving my unexpected broken expectation.

I'm sure I could find some scripture to add as supplemental reading but my heart keeps repeating one prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; 
trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; 
that I may be reasonably happy in this life and 
supremely happy with Him forever in the next. 


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